Hello!! I see you are reading my blog from the very beginning!! or did you start reading from the top and have finally reached the bottom?? Kinda silly to read backwards like that if you ask me!! I hope you’ve been enjoying my page :3 This is my very first post so I’m going to ramble about my goals so that my future self can be like “Oh my, I used to be so sweet and naive!! I really wanted to do that thing?? So silly indeed" I say as I sip some luxurious wine and sit back in my very fancy gamer chair with an evil cat on my lap.
It's kind of difficult to figure out what to write about when I have so many things I want to do!! I’ve only recently been able to start taking my art more seriously, I didn’t realize just how slacking I had done until I went back to see that I had barely made one art piece a month for 2024!! I think allowing myself to color out of the lines and try messier brushes has absolutely helped my motivation tenfold for this year. I had been so so anxious about getting clean linework that I had forgotten that art was supposed to be fun! I stopped drawing altogether which I think is so silly!! recently I was able to upgrade my FireAlpaca to Clip Studio Paint and it has been a whole new world for me, I do miss the simplicity sometimes but I will never miss the dreaded light mode it was always stuck on :’)
Another thing I've been doing on the side is trying to take my Youtube channel more seriously. I’m still figuring out what kind of content I want to make but I don't think it's gaming content lol. At the moment, I think the easiest thing to upload faster has been UTAU covers but I'm definitely not the best at it. The only thing that really holds me back is that I have been using the trial for FL Studio, so it's been difficult to really learn mixing when I'm more worried about closing the program. and also video editing!! I’ve been trying to use Shotcut because my rival suggested it but it doesn’t feel like a very powerful program, either that or my gaming laptop sucks or something :P At this rate, I am ready to give up and learn powerpoint instead!! But I’ll push through, if I can make cool videos then I want to be able to contribute to the vocalsynth scene in a way I can wrap my mind around! that and my art too!!
I am also learning coding!! Right now it’s mostly html so I can make a very cool and epic website (that you are hopefully seeing right now!!) but I also have games I really want to create. I made an rpg maker game at the end of 2023 as a gift for my friend but in my mind there is so much I want to go back and improve. But I'm so worried that I'm falling into the trap of “I must keep fixing this and make 100 additions” when I feel like I should just take what I learn and move onto the next project. I have plenty of OCs with lore that I could adapt but finding the right medium is much harder than I thought it would be. I hate sometimes that I am very good at daydreaming but not so good at putting those feelings to paper. I gotta take my own advice and make more bad art, because I have to put into the world the things I want to see!! and maybe that’s the silly toxic yuri in my head!!
So yeah, that’s like the jist of my goals creatively as of now. It will be very interesting to see what kind of path I take as an artist because right now I'm really not sure. With the world as it is right now, it’s so important to keep this belief in my art as strong as possible. Even if it's bad, even if it’s cringe and only 2 people see it, it will be created by my own two hands and that’s way more valuable than riches and fame!! gotta remind myself everyday that people appreciate the messiness of a human’s passionate work over the random stumblings of a machine. If you are out there somehow reading this, please make bad art, make art that means something and maybe that meaning is pancakes. Be terrible at singing, be terrible at drawing or coding or youtube videos. But have fun, that’s what it's all about
As a fun little thing I'll add to these blogs, here is my latest art :3
This is a reference sheet for one of my oldest OCs that has sorta lived in my vault for a while! I finished this for ArtFight thats coming up soon but I'm not so certain I will have that much time to join. I'll probably do the thing I do every year and make like 1-2 arts for my friends and dip lol
Star dividers from Lifted.crd.co